BlueHackers
My husband showed me this site the other day. I think its and awesome idea that people in the same industry can support others with depression, anxiety and bi-polar disorders. Especially in the I.T/Geek industry where they have a unique work environment and there are particular challenges in dealing with issues relating to mental health. That’s where this group can help with additional insights, tips, and posts from others with experience.
They are also creating a page for spouses and families of sufferers with links to resources in Australian and NZ especially for us.
Its a fairly new website so there is not much content at the moment, but if they keep at it I can see that it will be a great place to gain ideas and support.
I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, I can’t cure it.
I’ve been struggling the past few days with my DH’s current bipolar episode and am finding it rare to come across resources for spouses of people with mental illnesses, resources that help you deal with your spouse but also with the pressures and emotions (and there are many) that the partners are under.
Yesterday I sent many hours just flicking through web pages searching for some meaning and for some help…anything at all to let me know that I’m not alone and anything to give me ideas on how to help DH and keep our relationship alive at the same time.
I came accross this website written by lady who is the wife of a bipolar man. She made me laugh at parts and made my cry also. I can definately relate to some of what Bonnie is saying and her idea of a sanctuary where spouses of people with mental illnesses can go to connect, talk and relax is absolutely awesome.
Check out her website at http://getolife.com/what.aspx
I especially related to the ‘Reality’, ‘Stay or leave’. The ‘why not work’ and the ’stressors’ page gave me a laugh.
The title of this page is borrowed from her ’stickers’ page. When I read this I felt a sense of calm I hadn’t felt for days.
Another useful website I stumbled across was
http://www.bpso.org/
It is aimed at Bipolar Significant Others (aka, spouses and families) and has a fantastic collection of links to all kinds of useful information, such as Bonnies page.
I guess the only thing for me to keep in mind is that a lot of these websites assume the bipolar person is on meds and under a doctors care, which is not the case with us…and also that most of this stuff is aimed at an American audience.
It would be great if there were some Australian sites like these….maybe they are out there and I’m just not seeing them?
Into the darkness once more….
Somedays I don’t think I can handle it anymore….and then I think about how he must be feeling and I know I have to stick it out.
The darkness has plagued us for years now, rearing its ugly head every few months and making life hell for both of us. Hell for him because he has to live with the pain and life-sucking depression, and me because I live to try and pick up the pieces and keep our life together.
I love him so much. All I can think is that it will pass…just believe that it will pass.
Worst dream ever!
Had the WORST dream ever last night.
Matt and I were at a cricket (or football) clubhouse in the country with heaps of people and a few from my work. We had a few beers, I am chatting to one of my bosses from work when Matt runs off.
My boss and I run after him, I come around a corner outside and see a row of 2 old-style outdoor dunnies. The door to both of them are shut but there is a big puddle of blood ooozing out from under the door of the 2nd tiolet.
I bash the door down, Matt is there with his back to me, he slumps back and i ask him what he has done. I grab his wrists and see they are grazed.
He has slit his own throat!! There is blood going everywhere.
I drag him out of the toilet asking my boss for help and to call an ambulance.
Matt is saying he doesn’t want an ambulance and it will take too long.
I manage to pull him down the long dirt driveway by his shoulders and somehow we end up on a bus to town with me pushing his head and neck together to try and stop the bleeding.
The bus rolls into town and we are coming to a set of trafficlights, there is an ambulance coming towards the bus and I have a feeling of wanting to jump out of the bus to stop the ambulance.
Hmm, this is as far as the dream got thankfully. My husband woke me up for a goodbye kiss before he left for work. My first thoughts were Thankgod it wasn’t real.
Freakin horrible!
